i hope everyone had a great christmas. mine was nice, despite both my parents and i were sick (i am feeling much better now, just a little stuffy)...and it took every bit of energy that my mom and i had just to cook christmas dinner and well, none of us ate a whole lot. for christmas i got a travel manicure set (which i needed), some pj pants with winnie the pooh on them (i affectionately call them my pooh pants), a roll of quarters to do laundry with (i needed that as well) and a sapphire ring...a real one. that last one was a total shocker. i never forgot that i wanted a ring, but i didn't mention it to my parents this year. i love it, though i know that they could have used that money for something else, like bills. it was only around $80 (originally it was $175), but still. it's yellow gold (10k) with a big sapphire (lab created) and it has 4 diamond slivers. i refuse to call them actual stones because they are barely visable, but i do love the ring. right now it is getting sized so in a few weeks i will be able to enjoy it. : )

hmm, i did a brave thing...well, at least i think it was brave, especially for me. as i was packing at school to come home for christmas, without even thinking about it, i packed the odie stuffed animal that curt gave me and his picture. i am going to leave them both here at home. i had his picture pinned up on my cork board and i would constantly make eye contact with it and well, not it's not going to be there. it will help i think. lately though i've been missing him a lot. well, actually just the last two days. probably the holidays or something. *shrug*

i don't have any plans for new years eve yet. though i am sure it will involve my friend monique and possibly some alcohol. she really wants to try the champage i had at merc and ong's. watch, it'll be us, a bottle of champagne and the friends trivia game at my house...heh...oughta be interesting. ; )

music: no doubt - detective

ps - i know a few blogs ago i talked about a band called authority zero, well i bought their cd the first weekend i was home...they aren't that known, so the cd was only $12.99 and it's no too shabby. ; )

what a wonderful christmas eve. i'm sitting here, freezing, and blowing my nose with a sore throat. naturally it would not be the christmas season if i was not sick. lovely.

thanks to merc and ong, i am home safely for christmas with my computer. and also thanks to them, my friends and i have been having a blast with the friends trivia game. ; ) I have played, hmm, 8 times and haven't won once. i just dread the day i play with ong, i know i won't win. ; )

i am also typing on a new keyboard. got home, hooked up my computer and found out that my old keyboard has a different plug and wouldn't work on my computer. so i went to walmart and bought a $10 one. i wasn't going to get one, but i couldn't have my computer just sitting here and not be able to use it ya know? ; )

hmm, i will exit on this note and i wish everyone very merry christmas!!! be safe. ; )

music: ricky van shelton - silent night

i am done! woohoo! i had my last final at 7am this morning...took me about an hour and a half. i think i did well, which is good. i know 2 of my grades all ready... "a" in my film class and a "b" in my psych class. i did bad on my psych final...i got 65% on it..heh. i had an "a" but the final brought my grade down.

i am also excited because i am going home! merc and ong are being kind enough to let me ride with them. and depending on room, i may or may not be bringing my computer home. so if i don't, there will be sporadic e-mails and blogs happening. so yeah...i really don't have much to say...i'm done w/school and i'm going home...i'm happy. : )

time to go pack...

stolen from claire

Your name spelled backwards.
Adnama

Where were your parents born.
Mom: Paris, TX
Dad: Tulare, CA

Heart broken?
Sure

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
A song.

Do you believe in yourself?
At times.

Have you ever been in a school play?
I was supposed to be in how the grinch stole christmas in the 5th grade, but i got sick the day before. : (

How many kids do you want?
Sometimes I want 2, sometimes i want none.

Type of music you dislike most?
rap, though i do like the occasional song and/or artist

Do you have cable?
Nope.

Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Nope.

Do you like the ocean?
Very much.

Unrequited love?
Hmm?

Ever get a parking ticket?
Nope.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Nope.

Furthest place you ever traveled.
Washington, DC

Last time you cried.
Last week sometime.

Do you have a garden?
*shakes head*

Does everyone deserve a second chance?
Depends on the situation.

Favourite comic strip?
garfield!!

Biggest regret?
Rather not say...

Do you have any enemies?
I dunno, but it's possible, not that i'm mean or anything.

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Yep.

Once a cheater always a cheater?
Eh...not sure.

Bath or Shower, morning or night?
I like both and any time of the day.

Best movie you've seen in the past month?
I just saw cider house rules. it was pretty good, but predictable. the ring was good too.

What color lipstick do you usually wear?
i don't wear lipstick. i usually wear cherry flavored lip gloss from avon, bur right now i'm wearing soft lips chapstick.

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
didn't know ya could.

Have you ever punched anyone in the face?
no, but i've sure wanted to.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
haha...too funny

Orange Juice or Apple?
Orange juice...actually drinking a glass right now.

Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
merc, ong, and 2 of their friends at this brazilian place.

Favorite type of chocolate bar?
too hard to choose

When was the last time you voted at the polls?
the primaries in march i think.

Are you a good cook?
not sure..i really don't know how to cook, i can bake though.

Is there anyone at the moment who makes your heart beat faster?
not really.

Do you know how to pump your own gas?
yep.

Sprite or 7-up?
Sprite.

Will you love again?
blah blah blah

Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
hmm...cough drops?

Ever throw up in public?
nope.

Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
love.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
not sure.

Who was the last person you kissed?
parents probably...sad huh??

Can ex's be friends?
i would tend to think not, but i've never been in the situation.

Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
my dad in april.

When was the last time you were in love?
never been in love.

Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
kinda.

What message is on your answering machine?
it's my cell and it says, "hey, it's amanda, my phone's either off or i can't hear it ringing, so leave a message and i'll get back to you." or something like that

What was the name of your first pet?
super kitty

What is in your purse?
wallet, check book, address book, etc..

How many songs do you have downloaded onto your hard drive?
120-150

Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
don't have one.

What is one thing you are grateful for today?
that my last final is tomorrow

*shiver* it is cold this morning. actually, i think it's colder inside our apt than it is outside. i haven't done too much the past few days. got my essay done last night. i'm not really happy with it, but hopefully i will do okay on it. the guy who i sit next too wasn't happy with this either...hmm...he's so cute. think he has a g/f though, i think he briefly mentioned her one time when we were talking. it's cool, cause he's tall, light skinned (okay, white) and dark hair (i love that), *and* I found out today that he knows where tulare/visalia is. he said his grandmother had a farm off of mooney blvd. by costco and i told him that's so cool cause i don't find many people down here who have even heard of tulare or visalia. oh well, gotta get over it, i'm only gonna see him one more time, and we're gonna be busy taking a final.

anyways...off that topic...i bought my grandma her christmas present yesterday. i bought her a little stuffed elephant w/a shirt that says "csuf." i wanted to get her this teddy bear wearing a shirt that says "someone from csuf loves you," but it was $25 and i didn't feel like paying that for a stuffed bear. now all i have left is my dad and my friends. i just got an idea for my dad, so i need to go check it out and i'll probably do my shopping for my friends when i get home.

rena and her fiance might be able to stop by this weekend. they're driving from fl to ca and last night they were in el paso, tx. so i went to a distance thingy and they've only got like 680mi. left until they get to southern ca, so hopefully they'll have time to stop. i'd love for rena to see where i live and stuff.

hmm...not much left to say...ohh, merc and ong taught me how to play canasta the other night. it was really fun, can't wait to play again. and i found out i like champagne..heheh. ; )

music: swing kids sdtk - bei mir bist du schon

found out last night that my parents won't be able to pick me up to go home. *sigh* it really sucks, i mean i still get to go home (i just have to go by train), but i dunno, i just wanted them to come here, ya know? plus i won't have my computer for over a month.. this just added to my whole ball of frustration about being dependent on people...though in this situation i am not really depending on anyone, it's the fact that i am not independent and i don't have my car to come and go as i please, blah blah blah. so yeah i was pretty upset last night, so to those i talked to last night, i apologize if i was short...it wasn't you...

music: eminem - lose yourself

i haven't been up to much lately. just working on homework and essays...finals are next week and i just want to get them over with. i keep telling myself, "only two more weeks, only two more weeks." i am kind of proud of myself, i am staying relatively calm and i am not stressing too much...hopefully it will stay that way.

i seem to have found another band that i really like...not my fav. of course, but the band is authority zero. they're a punk band and i am finding it surprising that all of the sudden i like punk music. i never thought it was bad, but i never really listened to it either. definitely not something i could listen to all the time, but it's cool. soooo, if anyone still needs to go christmas shopping for me, get me authroity zero's new cd... : Þ

ooh, good news, i'm going to be getting my scholarship check soon...they'll be sending it this week sometime...and to that, we say "yay!" (i sound like brian) : )

that's all folks...

authority zero - everyday

i am not feeling very well today...it's more mental that physical. i have been feeling this way for a while, it comes, it goes...but it's always there really. i wish i could make myself feel better, i just don't know where to start. more than anything, i want to feel better about myself and my "role" in this world, because right now, i feel very insignficant and like i don't matter. maybe i should talk to someone?

Hmm, my screen keeps jumping...it just did it. i can't figure out why...sometimes it'll do that when my cell phone is about to ring or something, but my cell phone isn't doing anything. maybe it's not good to have the cell phone near the monitor...hmm...let me move it. seems to be better...

anyways, i am becoming such a bad poster : (. i used to be so good at it... but yeah, i hope everyone is doing well. i just got back from spending a week at home for thanksgiving. it was really nice being home and i'm not sure i am that excited to be back. i think because of finals and everything. i know in the coming weeks i have a butt-load of things to do and i am going to have to stop being sociable and get it done. but i just keep thinking, in 3 more weeks, i can go home. merc keeps telling me that i can't be so happy to go back home, but i can't help it. maybe once i start getting into the hang of things here in oc, then i won't be so thrilled to go home. ; )

my week at home was pretty much uneventful. i hung out w/my friends once (which kinda sucked) and sat at home the rest of the time. there were times when i got bored. i think i caught up on my tv watching, since i don't watch very much here. i saw 2 new movies: panic room and not another teen movie. i really enjoyed panic room...definitely a good movie. and dammit my screen keeps jumping...i hope my monitor is okay.....

my money situation is looking a little better than it was. turns out i mis-figured my check book by $150 or so, so i have about that much more money in my account than i thought i had, which helps a whole lot. i guess from now on when i enter things into my checkbook, i will double check it 2 or 3 times. ; )

being home made me think about curt a lot. i am really not sure why, i guess there were just reminders or something. on my way home, on the bus, i cried a little (i think it was the music i was listening to) and there was one night at home where i just broke down. i just really miss him...i keep remembering conversations we've had and certain phone calls and just all kinds of crap. i feel like there are still things i want to say to him, but i know i probably shouldn't try and contact him anymore. i am kinda worried that he might think i abandoned him or something, even with the letter i sent. i'm sure i didn't, but i keep thinking that...and i don't want him to think i did that to him, though he kind of did it to me. geez, what is wrong w/me?? he can do stuff to me, but when the thought comes of me doing the same thing to him, i can't do it cause then i'll feel bad or i do feel bad. i'd honestly just like to have him in my life right now...if i can get over that little obstacle, then i should be okay...that's the plan anyway. ya know, i was thinking, how does one begin to get over someone? i guess there's no set way to do it, i guess you just wake up one day and realize you don't love them anymore? (not that i'm in love). maybe one day you'll realize you haven't been thinking about them and when you do it doesn't hurt anymore or something. sometimes i wonder how i can hurt when i basically barely knew this guy. sometimes i wonder if i am normal because of that. i honestly don't think a lot of people understand that and i am beginning to not understand why i feel so attached to him when we've virtually had no relationship. *sigh* i just want a boyfriend...is that too much to ask??

alright, now that i am done sounding pathetic, i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving. mine wasn't bad. my parents and i went to my parents friend's house because they were by themselves and so were we. i must say that it was nice eating with someone. the past few years it has just been my parents and i, and it wasn't that exciting, so that was cool.

3 weeks is christmas...going too fast...way too fast....

congratulations if you made it this far.. : )