i am bored, so i thought i would blog again. i didn't do much today...i woke up at 11:30am and finally got out of bed at noon. i'm gonna be in trouble when it's time to go back to school. though the next 3 days i'm probably gonna be getting up early. i'm taking my mom to work tomorrow (so i can have the car) and go get some stuff at walmart, the tomorrow evening i am going to do some grocery shopping, that way when i get to back school, i only have to shop for the cold and frozen stuff.

oh, mentioning school reminds me. i truly dislike gray davis (ca governor). his huge, miraculous, wonderful budget cut he has planned takes over $300 million out of $3 billion out of the cal state system, which may require the board of trustees for the cal state system to raise tuition by almost $1000. what the hell man?? davis is supposed to be for education and everything, so yeah...let's cut money, so the cal state system has to result to raising tuition, making even larger class sizes, letting buildings go into disrepair, and cutting the availability to some classes. yeah, smart davis, real f-ing smart. yeah he talks about wanting more kids to get an education, well, this isn't' going to do it. it's expensive enough already, we don't need to be paying another $1000. I already have to pay an extra $72 this semester just to remain a student...*grrrrrr* k, done w/my rant.

code red mountain dew is good...it got me through a few psych classes last semester.

music: 311 - outside

i feel blah...

last night i found some information on curt's family online (i learned one thing: never type people's names into google when you are bored). i honestly regret doing that, because know i am thinking about him again and i almost feel closer to him because i found information about his family. *grrrrrrrrrrr* when will this be over?? i'm tired of feeling this way, tired of missing him, tired of hurting...i'll tell you one thing, i hope my next relationship makes up for this crap.

so i'm going back to oc (orange county) on saturday. i think now i am kind of looking forward to it because i am pretty bored here at home. at least there i'll have school and there's usually something going on. oh, and i'll get to see merc and ong. (i miss you guys!). actually, if i may be truthful, that's the thing i'm looking forward to the most. heh.

i got my loan today...i like this direct deposit stuff...i got my money a week early. and once i get to school, i get to spend a lot of it! woooo! i have a housing payment due *and* i get to buy books...happy happy, joy joy. oh well, that's school and that's life...

nothing else to report...

music: kid rock/sheryl crow - picture

last night i went to try on my bridesmaid dress. i didn't look nearly as bad as the pictures invisioned in my head. i'm not saying i looked good, but it zipped and looked okay and after the dress is altered hopefully i'll look a little better. i have pics if anyone is interested...

i spent most of the day not feeling good. i had a really bad headache and i felt like i was going to be sick. i laid down for about an hour or so and i felt better. then i took a hot bath and apparently it was too hot because when i got out, i felt really dizzy and sick to my stomach again. feeling better now though. i dunno why, but my sinuses have been acting up this last week.

hmm, well...guess i don't have much to say. tomorrow is the super bowl and the raiders are playing, so i'll probably be watching. not a huge football fan anymore, but i used to love the raiders (not that i dislike them now), so go raiders. : )

music: authority zero - open eyes

well, i am going to start singing a song that you all have heard before and are probably tired of hearing, but i need to get some stuff out...which is what the blog is for, so yeah...

i seem to be stuck in the mud when it comes to getting over curt. i feel like i've come a long way...i'm packing away his picture, e-mails, etc, he's not in my address book, i've cut off all contact, but now i am not sure what to do. i am trying to figure out why i still feel attached to him. i honestly think a lot of it is i know he's done this before (the no contact thing) and then he's called out of the blue, so i don't know if i'm thinking he'll do that again and maybe that keeps me holding on just a little. honestly, i can't say if i want him to call or not. part of me does, but the other part doesn't because then i'd be faced w/the decision of what to do (ie. totally let him go or talk about another chance). logic tells me to just forget about him, but my feelings are a different story. and of course i have no clue why i am so attached to someone i don't even really know. all i know is that i am lonely, i certainly wouldn't mind having a significant other, and that i am not looking forward to valentine's day. maybe i can crawl in a hole that day or something...

anyways....

tomorrow i'm going to hang out w/my friend krystal for a few hours, which should be cool. i suck for barely contacting her when i've been home a month, but she moved into a new place and her son is walking, so i'm excited. : )

found out last night that fullerton has their scholarships up and i found about 10-15 that i could apply for, so i am feeling very motiviated to get those applications filled out and turn them in. what i don't like is you have to turn in a seperate application for each scholarship and i'd love to type them instead of print them, but i have no clue how to do that. it's an acrobat reader file, so if anyone knows how to make it so i can type and not hand write all of the applications, i'd really appreciate it and so would my hand. : )

started watching american idol again...i love these talent type shows...and it's amazing to me the people who think they can sing and they go on national tv and you have people like my mom and i laughing at them because they're so bad. i'd hate to be one of these people...but then again, they should know better and they should know for sure that they can sing before they go on national television. oh well, i'm off...

music: faith hill - cry

i just deleted a post. it was a vent about abortion, but i decided to take it off. felt a little uncomfortable having it posted.

the plans for going back to school have changed. instead of going back this weekend, i am going back next weekend, which is the 1st. it will be easier for my parents and heck, it gives me another week at home, as i don't want to go back.

the bridesmaid's dresses for my best friend's wedding are due to be in this week and if they come in, i am going to go try it on. i am very afraid to do that...afraid that the dress won't zip up...*sigh* but i am going to go try it on and see what i need to do to myself to look better in it...i just have these awful visions about how it's gonna look on me..heh.

i took a happy test today on emode.com. turns out i'm happier than 30% of people who took the test, which to me doesn't sound too good, unless i am mis-reading the information. *shrug* if i am reading it correctly, i'd say it's accurate. : )

music: roxette - it must have been love

whoa...posting two days in a row...how do ya like that?? : Þ

anyways, this was stolen from brian. i'm a huge beatles fan, so i had to do this. : )


What Beatles' song are you?

music: 311 - borders

well, i got my hair cut this evening. it doesn't look as different as i hoped it would...plus when i walked in the house after going and getting it cut, my dad said "i thought you were getting your hair cut?" but i do like it, it's subtle but different. so now i need to experiment on ways to style it. : )

i don't know why, but lately i have been on this *huge* 311 kick. true, i am a huge 311 fan, but i don't listen to them very often, oddly enough. for the past few days i've been listening to cds and i watched their home videos and i don't know, it's like i'm discovering how much i like them all over again and it's pretty damn cool. ; ) now i'm dying to see them in concert...it is an interesting sight to see me rocking out. ; )

let's see...tomorrow i'm picking monique up from school because she's having problems w/her car. ought to be nice going back to cos. then i want to go to wal-mart and get a few things, since i go back to school next weekend. Wooo.. : )

music: 311 - do you right

i have felt a little off all day today...or as my dad says, "a little off center." i can't quite put my finger on it, but something in my body feels out of whack. i noticed it from the second i got up this morning. when i got in the shower, i noticed that my heart was beating really fast and i couldn't figure out why, it's not like i was rushing or anything; and when i got out of the shower, i could literally hear my heart beating and it was racing. i felt anxious and nervous for some reason. i guess it was anxiety, but i have no clue as to why i'd be feeling that way...maybe it's something in tulare's water? *shrug*

i think thursday is gonna be the day i cut my hair and i am actually gonna change it. though, it's not going to be anything drastic, it'll be different for me. i'm probably gonna get a couple of inches cut off the bottom and then have it layered, but long layers, if that makes sense. basically i'll have 2 different lengths of hair, instead of a lot, like you'd get w/normal layers. my friend has the same hair cut and i like it. actually, i have a picture of jennifer aniston w/the kind of hair i wanted, but her hair in the picture is only short in the front and i want layers all the way around. i am hoping it comes out okay, but it should...cause, like i said, i'm not doing anything drastic. : )

i know i've sent this to a few people, but i'm gonna post it on here for the people i didn't send it to. : ) i am quite proud of this...it took me a while to do. : )

Pick a band, then answer the questions with their lyrics.

1. Band/Singer:
Of course, 311
2. Are you male or female?
"That slinky girl, is in my brain, and now I'll never be the same." ~ Slinky
3. Describe yourself:
"Beautiful disaster, flying down the street again. I tried to keep up, you wore me out and left me ate up." ~ Beautiful Disaster
4. How do other people feel about you?
"I will never understand you, when will I stop trying?" ~ Champagne
5. How do you feel about yourself?
"All mixed up, don't know what to do." ~ All Mixed Up
"I'll be here awhile, ain't going nowhere." ~ I'll Be Here Awhile
"Nobody knows, just what you're battling inside. You can hide, nobody knows just why..." ~ Eons
"Along the way, to close my eyes. I lost where I was going, the more it will spin, the more that I try, to stop my mind flowing, away, away. To all I despise, along the way, to close my eyes." ~ Flowing
"What the fuck was I thinking?" ~ What Was I Thinking
6. Describe the person you love, like, lust after.
"Whoa, Amber is the color of your energy, whoa, shades of gold displayed naturally. Want to know what brings me here, you glide through my head blind to fear." ~ Amber
"Like I said before, I'll say it once more, knew you would make me feel so good, wanna do you right. I can't get enough, this is the stuff, life's about it and it trips me up, wanna do you right." ~ Do You Right
"On the scales of desire, your absence weighs more than someone else's presence." ~ Uncalm
7. What would you rather be doing?
"Visit...I wanna visit the world..." ~ Visit
8. Describe where you live:
"Don't stay home this time, no don't stay home, whoa, if he don't have to, he don't want to..." ~ Don't Stay Home
9. Describe how you feel about love:
A few different views:
"It's 8:16 am will you wake up to me? The first thing that you see. My eyes open, I'm just hopin, you feel the same as me, the day starts easily..." ~ 8:16am
"I told myself I'm through with you, the last thing that I'll ever do, let down my guard, shouldn't be too hard. I know it's over, gotta elevate, disregard." ~ I Told Myself
"All we've been through, all the songs that I've sung for you. We both know, I'm gonna lose you." ~ Lose
10. Share a few words of wisdom
"Stay positive and love your life." ~ Many songs
"Life's a bowl of punch, go ahead and spike it." ~ Plain
"Let the cards fall where they may." ~ Let the Cards Fall
"Love's a bigger banger." ~ Omaha Stylee
"You can't be let down if you don't expect the world." ~ Flowing
"Fuck the bullshit, it's time to throw down." ~ Fuck the Bullshit

music: saliva - always

i was told all around to keep my blog because i am blogging for myself and not for others, so i shall keep it. maybe more people will wander towards my blog in the future. though brian has been trying to get me to open a live journal account, and i am tempted, but i'm not sure what i'd do with two online journals. : )

i haven't blogged much about what i've been up to, but that's because i haven't been up to anything really. i either stay home all day or hang out w/monique or monique and rena. i think it was last weekend, we went looking for shoes for rena's wedding. we had no luck. i did find a cute pair that i liked at payless source. i am also finding cute shoes online on diff. websites, but my problem is that i don't know my exact shoe size cause it's different for every shoe. so yeah, not having luck w/that. i'll probably come home spring break and get fitted for the bridesmaid dress...lots of wedding stuff coming up.

i go back to school in two weeks, which, i am not looking forward to. i am not just saying i don't want to go back, i honestly do not want to go back. i can't quite figure out why. i don't hate it there, but maybe i'm just liking being at home and back in my old routine. oh well.. : ) when i go back, i am gonna look for a job...it's kind of a necessity and going to try and save money to get a car. it'll be a while before i could get one probably though. i'd really like to get one by this coming fall but we'll see...

music: titiyo - come along with me

well, as i unfortunately suspected, i didn't get very many e-mails from people who read my blog. i got like 4 or 5. so now i am left with the decision of whether or not to keep this blog. i really enjoy blogging but it's kind of silly to be typing for 4 people. i was debating this already, which is why i asked people to e-mail me. i mean, i would like more people to read this, but i'm not sure what to do...yeah, i'm sure it's boring because i don't update that often and when i do, i am not saying anything of great importance. unfortunately i can't be like merc or drew (i can say names w/o linking because everyone knows who they are) where no matter what i say, it's cool. i can't explain it...both of them have this ability to make the reader interested no matter what they're talking about. heck, drew can even make talking about wine beautiful. bottom line is, i never have any great insights to include in my blog and my writing ability is minimal. i mean i do have insights, but never at the right time where i can share them. so i am absolutely stuck as what to do...if any of you have any ideas/opinions, feel free to let me know..

music: taproot - poem

i have a favor to ask...

i am doing a survey of how many people actually read this blog on a regular basis...if you do (even if i know you do), please e-mail me. my e-mail is at the end of my blog...thanks. : )