i have been thinking about why i am a film major. i am not sure if i have a great reason, except that i love movies. to me, that is enough of a reason, but it seems that being a film major or being interested in movies is a clique. i will be the first to tell you that i am probably not a typical film major...mainly because i haven't seen *a lot* of movies, especially classics, but i don't go out and shoot my own movies, i am not interested in production and i certainly don't have ideas running around in my head. i have a teacher who seems to think that knowing about and watching this list of movies would make us a film major. i think that is ridiculous myself, mainly because most of the movies i've seen from that teacher are crap. but according to him, to appreciate these movies is to be a film major. i don't feel that to be a film major, you need to be "under ground", into the independent, odd and non-contemporary movies. how is watching a movie about suicides and actually watching these suicides make me a film major? i didn't see anything visually stunning in that movie, except of course the graphic suicides. there's just a lot of people who make me feel like i shouldn't be a film major because i don't fit certain criteria. i will admit, sometimes i find it strange that i am a film major. only because i lack a creative edge and to do what i want to do, you kind of need that. i also lack the ability to notice a lot of visual cues and "awesome" things that happen in a film. i've thought about making film my minor, but i have no idea what i would major in. i really want to work in the tv/film industry, which, i believe, is all i need to make it as a film major, but i guess i'll see.

hello everyone, long time no post. i, for once, have been busy. i went home on April 30th for my best friend's wedding on May 3rd. Ever since May 1st, i have done nothing but run around...i have not had a chance to relax and i am physically exhausted. i got home sunday night around 11. i was going to take the train (i would have been home by 6pm), but my best friend and her now husband were driving to los angeles to catch a flight to hawaii on monday morning, so they took me w/them. i was not feeling well on sunday and from about 3pm - 3am on sunday, i took 7 excedrin. well, monday morning when i got up to go to school, i was shaking a lot and i felt very nervous and jittery. well, i forgot that excedrin have massive amounts of caffeine in them. i shouldn't have taken so many, but i was in pain and i didn't even think about how much i had already taken. so yesterday was an interesting day...coming off of this huge caffeine high and being tired. and now i have 3 more weeks of school! isn't life grand??

my best friend's wedding was great. granted it was an outside wedding and it did rain, it went over very well. i had to get a last minute hem on my dress because the bridal shop is stupid and they don't know how to do alterations. my shoes are ruined as well because they were dyed and they got wet, so the dye ran. *but* it was fun. i cried, which i figured i would. i left the roll of film w/the wedding pictures at home (dumb me) but maybe I can get my parents to develop them for me and maybe i can get some scanned. that way you can see me in a dress, wearing makeup with my hair done. a rare sight indeed.

jerry nadeau, my fav. nascar driver, was in a car accident during practice on friday. he was going into a turn and he spun around and slammed driver side into a concrete wall at about 150mph. (one of the risks of racing i guess). he was in critical condition, but he has been upgraded to serious condition. he has a slight head injury, rib injuries and a partially collapsed lung. i am definitely hoping he gets well soon. maybe he will race again.

let's see...yeah i have a lot of work to get done. i've gotten most of my pictures taken for my photo project. i am happy about that. for the same class i also need to watch a movie and write a 5-7 page paper on the elements used in the movie. i also need to shoot my public service announcement...that is next week, but i need to meet w/my talent and make some changes on that. on top of school work, i am still trying to find a job. i've got 3, almost 4 weeks until i need to be moved out. i want to try and go near where merc and ong live and see if i can turn in some applications. i think there's about 3 shopping centers near them. oh and i need to meet w/my teacher for some academic advisement. ooh and the same teacher i want to meet with sent me a rejection letter for *all* of the radio/tv/film scholarships available. i don't get it, she said to apply for them because they never have enough applicants and then i get rejected. what is w/me and rejection?? i am far too familiar with it.

music: jewel - intuition