i had a job interview today and i have to say it was the dumbest interview i've been to yet. i haven't felt good all day and i had to force myself to get showered and all dressed up and seem happy and perky for this job interview and i only wound up talking to the guy for 5 min. he introduced himself to me and proceeded to tell me that he does 2 interviews. during the 1st interview, the one i did, he lets the person applying for the job to ask any questions they may have and the 2nd interview is done *after* he decides who is getting the job, which is when he fills in the job details and what he expects of you. so, in all reality, that is not an interview. i was like "wtf??" so i am sitting there and i am wondering what in the world to ask this guy. this is my weakest part of an interview because i never can think of what i should ask. so i didn't really ask anything, i just explained to him why i had a gap in my employment and that i could only work until the end of august. perhaps i should have asked about the actual job, but i was so caught off guard by this, i was just freaking out in my head. he said he's hiring two people and he will call them on thursday night. he said if i don't hear from him, he wishes me luck in school, which, well, makes me think he's not gonna call. i just thought this was a whacked interview. i mean don't you want to give info on the job so if you call the person they know whether or not they want to accept or decline the job offer? maybe he was trying to see if anyone would ask about the job, i don't know. so yeah, i don't think it went well. but after that interview, i went to another place that was hiring and picked up an application. and people wonder why i am so pessimistic when it comes to getting a job.

got to spend saturday with merc and ong (and her family) which was nice. it was like we were never separted. : )

i've been thinking a lot about this comment my dad made to me. my parents and i were in the living room and my mom mentioned that she knew what she wanted to get me for my birthday, but she wasn't sure if she could. so i jokingly said a car and when she said no, i asked if she was getting me a boyfriend, again i am joking. so my dad says, "that is the last thing i need to worry about." (talking about himself). and i said, "why would you have to worry?" and he mentioned something about how much of an extra expense and time constraint it would be to have a boyfriend. and i said, "well, do you know what it's like to not be loved? no, i don't think so, " to which he said, "well we love you." and i said, "yeah i know, but it's not the same." and i walked out of the room. my dad has always been that way. i guess he's scared i'm gonna meet someone and drop out of school and get married or something. i mean never say never, but i certainly don't plan on that. the comment just kinda hurt is all...makes me think that if/when i get a boyfriend, he is not going to be supportive of it.

music: afi - girl's not grey

forgot to mention that i found someone to go to the 311 concert with. normally i would be thrilled as hell, but since i have no money, im not going. life is cruel. i know you're probably thinking, "it's just a concert," but it's not. not to me.

went to a gas station today to talk to a guy about a job. my mom's boss told me that they were looking for someone. so i go down there and they guy is excited to see and talk to me until i tell him that i can only work until the end of august. he said that makes it difficult, but he had me fill out an application anyways and said he'd call me and let me know for sure once he talked to the owners. i told him i understood and left... i do understand why places don't want to hire me, but it still sucks. i tell ya, if i am going to have this much trouble after i graduate, i am screwed. maybe i should just focus on getting a job in fullerton. i think the chances of my getting hired here are very slim. *sigh*

music: 3 doors down - when i'm gone

not much to say, so i thought i'd post this.. stolen from brian.

Nicknames: Manda, Mandy
Screen Name: amu311bd, Manda3Eleven
When is your birthday?: 9/17/81
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Blonde
Natural Hair Color: Probably a lighter blonde
Who do you love/like: Family and Friends
Who is your best friend?: Rena
Your favorite people? (Up to 10): My friends

> >~RIGHT NOW~
Outfit: Night gown
Hairstyle: Down
Jewelry/Accessories: Ring
Underwear: Uh, yes.
Nail color: None

> >~DO YOU~
Lick yourself: How do you think I get clean?
Whine a lot: Probably
Yell a lot: No, but I have potential to
Hate a lot of people: Dislike a few, but not a lot.
Have too many friends: Never
Want to die: No
Have a bf/gf: No
Do drugs: Legal ones
Wear dark colors: Yeah
Dye your hair: Nope, afraid to lose my natural hair color.
Shave strange places: Hmm, nope.

> >~HAVE YOU EVER~
Kissed someone: *pleading the 5th*
Gotten Drunk: Not sure
Worn rainbow: Probably when I was little.
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: Yeah
Left the country: Nope
Had a party with over 30 people: Been to one, didn't have one.
Taken nude pictures: Yeah, that's my side job.
Stolen something: Well, yeah I guess.
Caught something on fire: Intentionally, yes...accidentally, no.
Cheated on someone: No.
Wanted to cheat on someone: No.
Asked someone out: lol that's funny.
Been dumped: Not in so many words, but yeah.
Dumped someone: No
Had a dream, then the next day it happens: I don't think so...I've had thoughts and then they'll happen...that's kinda weird.

> >~DREAM MATE~
Short/Long Hair: Short
Preppy/Dorky/Druggie: None of the above? Def. don't want a druggie. Maybe someone between preepie and dorky
Freckles: I don't care
Hair Color: Brown
Hat/No hat: I don't care
Fat/Thin: I don't care
Makeup/No Makeup: None, I would hope
Dressy/Casual: Casual
Holding hands/Holding 'other body parts': Hands...at first anyways.

> >~LAST PERSON~
You Touched: My mom probably
You Talked to: Monique
You Hugged: Mom
You Kissed: *there's the 5th again*
Had sex with: No one
You Instant messaged: FJ
Who broke your heart: Curt

> >~ARE YOU~
Understanding: Yes
Open-minded: Yes
Arrogant: No
Insecure: K, everyone, on the count of 3...answer this question for me...you all know what it is!
Interesting: Hmm, maybe a little.
Hungry: No, but I want something sweet.
Smart: Yeah, I think so.
Moody: I have my moments, definitely
Childish: Yeah, at times...only cause it's fun.
Independent: Getting better
Hard working: Most of the time...there are times when I don't give a damn, but I'm sure we all go through that.
Healthy: Probably not.
Emotionally Stable: For the most part
Shy: *nods*
Difficult: I'm getting that feeling
Attractive: Eh, *shrug*
Bored Easily: Yeah
Thirsty: I am actually...buy me a drink?
Obsessed: Only with 311
Angry: No, not right now.
Sad: Kinda
Happy: Kinda
Trusting: Yes
Ill: Not a whole lot
Talkative: Yeah, I can be...I can be quiet too.
Ignored: Sure
Reliable: Yes, I think so.
Self-disciplined: Hmm....yeah....not really. Well, I guess it depends on the situation. Over all, probably not.
Sleepy: Yes
Lonely: Sadly, most of the time.

music: no doubt - don't speak

i am not feeling that great tonight and here is the main reason. the job at subway fell through, so i will not be working there. just great. now i get to find a job that will hire me for 2 months. i am not mad at the guy, but ya know, if he didn't know for sure that he would have a spot for me, why say, "you *can* work here if you don't find a job in southern ca." then amanda did her normal routine of getting her hopes up. so to put it bluntly, i am feeling pretty shitty tonight, the job thing being at the top of the list.

music: extreme - more than words

yeah, so i am still not working. i don't know when i will start. hopefully early next week...i really need the money. i was thinking...i wanted to save my money for a car and i wasn't going to save a lot, but maybe half of my paycheck. i may still do that, but i also want to pay off my credit card, so i have it just in case i need it and then i want to get some new clothes. i could really use some. i haven't really gone shopping for a while...i mean i might buy a shirt here and there, but that's about it. i haven't gotten new shorts in a few years, so that will be nice. i also want to pay my parents back for helping me out with my two incredibly high phone bills. this month my phone bill should be back to normal though, thank goodness. i definitely learned a valuable lesson there.

good news about my financial aid. i was reading at fullerton's website that as long as i accept my loans, they will take my tuition out of them and then give me the difference, so i am thrilled about that.

i have had an uneventful week. went to the mall tonight and saw all kinds of things i liked and then got depressed because i couldn't afford to buy them. : ) hmm, i think i'm going to go hunting for jobs for when i go back to school. it'd be nice to have one.

music: 3 doors down - kryptonite

it has been requested that i blog more, so here i am. ; )

i had a good weekend. saturday night i went to another friend's wedding. i've gone to school and have been friends with this girl since 7th grade. it was a really nice wedding, very organized and everything. she is leaving for england on june 18th. her husband is in the airforce and i guess that is where they stationed him. i think that is pretty cool...what a way to get out of tulare county. oh, while i was there i also had my first taste of pink champagne...mmm....after that i had 2 glasses. i poured a 3rd, but then i remembered i had to drive, so my friend finished it for me. she had about 4 glasses. i really wanted to drink too...oh well.

i watched the coolest thing tonight...100 greatest country songs. i will admit that i am a country music fan, i guess it comes from my grandmother and my parents. the list that was complied was so awesome. i knew a lot of songs on that list just from being at my grandmother's house and her listening to them all the time. i guess it was kind of sentimental for me. it brought back memories of me being at her house and times at home. i wanted to cry so many times...heh. it was good though.

today i found out what my financial aid will be for next year...2 loans and a possible $500 in a grant. so, i am basically screwed...i was hoping to get enough in grants to pay my tuition and that did not happen. i don't know what i'm going to do now. i am going to contact the financial aid office at fullerton and find out what my options are if i have any. there is no way i can come up with over $1000 in a month. i already have to have $750 in the mail no later than next monday for my housing, so that would be almost $2000 in a month that i'd need to come up with. i sure hope this works out, i would really hate to not go to school this year, especially since i only have about 3 semesters left. so everyone cross your fingers...please.

i talked to my best friend last night and sounds like she might come with me to see 311...either her or her and her husband. i don't really care, i just don't want to go alone...so that makes me happy, but i am trying not to get my hopes up. she's bailed on me before for another concert.

let's see, nothing else is going on...no info on my job yet...hopefully i start soon, i need as much money as i can get.

music: etta james - at last

i am feeling very sad tonight. probably a combination of things, but yeah. here is something i stole from brian a few weeks ago.

Top 10 things you'll NEVER hear me say

10) Ya know, I think I have enough CDs.
9) I have brown hair.
8) Man, I can't wait to dive into that fish/seafood...mmm-mmm.
7) No pasta for me, thanks.
6) There is no way cotton makes a sound.
5) Carrots?? Sure! I'll have 10!
4) Creed is the greatest band ever.
3) I don't want a boyfriend.
2) Damn, she's hot.

And the #1 thing you'll never hear me say:

1) 311 sucks!!

music: jack johnson - f-stop blues

i can not believe it has been so long since i've blogged. the month of may just flew by, especially the latter part.

i am now back in tulare for the summer. unfortunately i did not find a job in fullerton, so here i am. i do have a job here, working at subway...which though i am grateful, i am not thrilled. but i am sucking it up because it's a job and it will bring in much needed money. i am not sure when i will start, probably sometime next week.

i've been thinking and the last 9 months have been pretty awesome. i feel proud of myself for getting out of central california and actually making it away from home, living in a whole new environment and doing half way decent in school. transferring may not seem like a big deal, but if you know me, i don't deal with change very well and the fact that i did do this instead of staying and home and making up reasons about why i couldn't go to school, is a good thing. it was definitely a big step for me and because of that, i do feel more confident in that area. living on campus was great. i met some awesome people and i had a great time. i am definitely going to miss it and the crazy people i lived with. they already know this, but i am going to miss, actually i already do miss merc and ong. they've done so much for me...and i must say, what goes around comes around. they have done a lot for me and they will get repaid for it some way, some how. i only hope i can be apart of that. i am eternally grateful. and before i make myself cry, let me move on...

today i finally finished getting my room in order. it took me 4 days. for 3 days you could not see the floor in my room and at one time i had a trail about 2 ft. wide from my bed to my door. but i am happy...everything is in its place and 9 months of dust is gone, so it feels nice to be chillin in my room. i've always loved the feeling of hanging out in my room when it is clean.

311 is making 2 stops in central ca this summer. actually , their very first tour date is in bakersfield, about an hour away. and the day after that, they are in fresno, which is also about an hour way. i am determined to go to one of these shows. i've missed them about 4 times in the past few years when they were in this area. tickets go on sale this saturday and i won't have money by then, but hopefully they won't sell out. i'd love to go to both shows, but i can probably only go to one, so i am shooting for the bakersfield show. i'm taking offers if someone would like to go w/me. ; ) i really don't want to go alone and i doubt very seriously i can get my best friend to go with me.

alrighty, i think i am off to bed...

music: live - heaven

p.s. - this song has a great lyric, "i don't need no one to tell me about heaven, i look at my daughter and i believe." okay, maybe it's not great, but incredibly sweet.