Hairspray

You know, it's weird...some days, like today, the smell of my hairspray makes me nauseous. Other days it doesn't. I don't get it.

Work

I have been working for a couple of weeks now and it's not so bad. So far, I like both jobs and I can't really complain. The only thing that bothers me is I am now being exposed to the drama that goes on in each place. At AMC, it's more high school drama and Target is just the drama you get when you have a bunch of girls working together. One of the girls that got hired with me said it's funny that when you get a bunch of girls together there's drama, but when guys work together, they seem to get along. I thought that was interesting because I never really thought about that before. I am a more quiet, keep to myself kind of person, but I've been trying not to be like that at work (don't want people thinking I'm a bitch or something), but I sure don't want to get too involved, I really don't want to be in the middle of any drama.

So far at AMC I've only worked concessions. I was really nervous about that at first, but I like it. I compare it to the one night I trained for usher and concessions is a lot better than cleaning. I've been working with the same people for the most part, so it's been nice getting to know people...and not counting the 2 or 3 40-50 yr olds that work there, I think I'm one of the oldest people.

At Target, I've been working with the same people pretty much. Everyone is pretty nice; well, the girls anyways. The guys seem pretty "anti new people." They have kept me in clothing; I've worked Men's, Women's, Boys & Girls, Shoes, and Jewelry through Lingerie. I was talking with one girl tonight and she said management might keep me in clothing because I haven't worked in any other department. I wouldn't mind that, I like it. I think I like Men's the most. It's usually not too messy and it's a small department compared to the others. I like jewelry through Lingerie the least. It's annoying trying to make sure that all the bras and everything are evenly on the hanger and it's hard to put stuff away cause there's like a million different styles and colors of bras and underwear. Awesome clearance racks though. :)

My Parents

I have been thinking about my parents a lot lately. It is nice to be away from home and to have freedom and independence, but at the same time I really miss my parents and I wouldn't mind seeing them everyday. I keep thinking about all of the problems they are having and I wish I could be there for them. They've helped me so damn much and I wish I could return that. I am one of the most important people in their lives right now. All I can do is give them support and be there, which I guess in reality, is all I could do if I were at home.

For some reason, I've been having a hard time dealing with what my dad is going through. It hurts me immensely to see him going through what he is going through. I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that his life is changed forever. It is pretty much a guarantee that he will never work again; therefore all he does is sit at home, watch TV and sleep. The thought of him doing that for the rest of his life kills me. I'd like him to get a hobby of some sort - something to do with his time, but hobby's usually require money, which is one thing my parents don't have. My dad is selling his truck, which means he won't have his own vehicle anymore...and he rarely drives now. He's also selling some of the things he used when he worked on cars. I remember I used to go out and watch him work on a motor, talk to him and keep him company. Knowing that he will probably never do these things again really hurts me. His life is changing and I'm having a hard time dealing with it. You should hear how excited his voice gets I call and he realizes it's me on the other end. He'd probably call 2 or 3 times a day if he didn't think he'd be annoying me.

Then there's my mom. I wish she could quit working - God knows she needs some time to rest. But what little money she brings in, my parents need. I know my mom is having a hard time with everything that is going on. She's one of those people who holds things in until she can't take it anymore. I have to admit, I'm guilty of doing that as well. She's got 2 kids that don't even call her or act like they care about her and I know that hurts her. I know for a fact that my sister doesn't call because she doesn't want to have to talk to my dad if my mom isn't home or something, which I think is complete bullshit. It's fine if she doesn't want to talk to my dad, but she shouldn't deprive her own mother because of it. That pisses me off and I think I'm going to talk to her at some point.

My parents are going through trying times right now and it hurts me to see that and it hurts that I can help in some how. But truth is I also have my own worries. My parents are such good people - always nice, always there for you and I wish life would just give them a break, they deserve it.

It's after 2pm on Mon. and I'm still in my PJ's

I don't feel quite up to par today. My throat has that "scratchy, going to get sick" feeling and I'm kind of stuffy. As with every other sickness I've had, it couldn't come at a worse time. Hopefully I'm not getting sick; maybe my throat is just sore from work and talking and have no liquids to moisten it.

I worked Saturday and Sunday from 10:30am - 5pm at the theater. It really wasn't bad. I was really nervous going into it, but once I got there and started taking orders, I pretty much had a routine going. I know I made some mistakes, but hopefully management will take that I'm new into consideration. I don't work at the theater for the rest of the week, well through Thursday anyway. Tomorrow morning I have orientation at Target, which we need to be in full uniform for, so I'm not sure what's gonna happen there. So, I should be starting to work at Target soon. I'm thinking there will probably be my share of days where I work mornings to 5 at the theater and then 6 to Midnight at Target. That ought to be fun. It will be hard and possibly challenging, but with 2 jobs, I get twice the money. I am also sure that I will be working on the 30th when Spiderman 2 comes out. It's odd that it comes out on a Wed. though. The theater is expecting a lot of people, so I'm a little nervous about that.

Not much else to say I guess, except...Like my site?

Life is Good

For the first time in months, I feel I am able to say that life is good. I have no huge worries looming over my head. I went to my school today and made my $750 housing payment. I am very relieved and happy that I was able to do that. I wound up getting 2 credit cards in the mail, both with $1000 limits. I am just really happy and grateful. Somebody or something must be watching over me.

I had my first night of training at the theater last night. I'm a little nervous, just because this is my first 'real' job and everything, but I think I can handle it. It will definitely give me good customer service skills. I have 2 more nights of training, tonight and tomorrow night and then they will start to give us hours. I really can't wait to start making money. It's an awesome feeling knowing that you're going to be earning money.

This morning when I was on my way to my school, I saw a bench at a bus stop and it had a advertisement for 311's Greatest Hits album. I was so excited. I really didn't show it because there were people around me, but in my head I was like "KICK ASS!" I only wish I had a camera, or was at that bus stop...I probably would have tried to peel it off or something..lol. I just thought it was awesome. :) I just need to get the album. ;)

Jobs and $$

I finally have a chance to update this thing. I home alone for the next few days, Merc and Ong went on a probably much needed vacation, so it's just me and the dog. Kinda cool I guess...I dunno. Feeling quite lonely tonight actually.

Anyways, things aren't going too badly. I have gotten two job offers. One at Target and one at AMC Theaters. I am really excited. I am definitely taking the Target job, not sure about the AMC one. I have another interview tomorrow for a store called Avenue, so I will decide tomorrow which job I take. I will more than likely work two jobs since I have the time. So, I am excited. In the 2+ years of looking for a job, I have finally succeeded and I need money in the worst way.

Speaking of money...I still do not have the money for my housing deposit that's due next week. I'm pretty much numb about it again. I mean, I'm sad and worried, but every idea I have had has been shot down or rejected, so I am getting used to be told "no." I would up contacting my siblings. My brother can't help, but I'm waiting to hear from my sister. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've honestly thought of everything I can, I've asked anyone I could think of. I just don't know what to do. If I can't come up w/that payment, I don't know what is going to happen. I don't see how I can afford to live on my own. Even if I have a roommate, it's going to be expensive. This is just so frustrating. But I guess what ever happens, happens. I don't see where there's much I can do anymore. I tell ya, life was so much easier when you didn't have to worry about stuff like this. Life was also easier when boys had cooties, but that's a whole different topic.

I checked my grades online today...4 B's and an A. How awesome is that?? I was sure I was getting some C's. I dunno how I did it, but I am extremely happy with that. Especially with how stressed I was and everything.

Well, anyways, this is what's been going on. Nothing too exciting. Hopefully I can try to update on a regular basis again. :)

Oh yeah...anyone want to loan me money? I'm good for it...really...

New Home

I am officially settled in my new home for the summer. I'm really glad Merc and Ong offered for me to stay here. Spent the last 2 days getting job applications and applying to places. I have an interview next Thursday and I'm supposed to hear from Target soon. Target would be a good place because it's really close, and even the place I have the interview at would be cool...it's in the same shopping center as Target.

I had a fun last weekend, which was much needed after finals. Hung out w/awesome people...got to see Drew again, which was nice...met Nick, which was also nice. It was a nice break not to have any obligations for a few days. And because of that weekend, I feel ready to tackle the finding a job thing.

I am still trying to figure out what to do about my housing deposit. I have about 10 days to figure something out. It's just really looking like I won't have the money. My parents might be getting money around the 23rd of this month, but that is too late and the lady at the housing office won't work with me. I'm still really sad and worried about it. I just hope something will work out.