I had another crummy night at work. The night itself wasn't bad, but the "manger in training" who was the boss for the night got on to me last night. There was a big clothing rack and a big red cart with boxes of t-shirts in my department and he came up to me, condescendingly, and asked me why they were in my department and I told him I didn't know, that they were there when I got to work. He went on to lecture me about how our guests safety is priority and how we encourage people to pick up after themselves, but if they don't, then the zoners need to take charge and take responsibility of their department and not leave these things out on the floor. I then told them I had been told in the past to leave the things there. Though I told him the truth, I don't think he believed me. And you know, I understand him needing to tell me if I'm doing something wrong and I can even deal with the "better than thou" attitude, but the worst part was is he talked and lectured me right in front of guests, in the middle of my department. I was SO embarrassed and I didn't appreciate that. If you have something to tell me or if I am getting in trouble, at least pull me aside where guests can't hear and tell me. There was no need to do it the way he did. So, that just ruined my night. And then he got on my case later in the night, telling that I needed to hustle, as if I haven't been working my ass off all night. I really hope the same guy isn't closing. A few people told me I should talk to him or my boss and mention that I didn't appreciate the way he handled things, but I dunno. Hopefully tonight is better. It will be a little better at least if this headache goes away.

Though, one cool thing...I bought a Beatles shirt last night. :) My very first Beatles shirt. Who would have thought Target would have them. It's a men's shirt, but oh well. I can't wait to wear it. Speaking of the Beatles, a guy at work is supposed to bring me a burned copy of Live @ the BBC for me. I hope he remembers. I've wanted that cd for a long time. I really need to get the rest of their cds, I don't have many more to go.

I helped out a friend this morning with her film project. She asked me to be one of her actors. I hate being in front of the camera, but it wasn't too bad. We did a scene from Gilmore Girls. It was a fun scene actually, a lot of arguing, which is fun to act out...not that I act all the time or anything.

I figured out my classes for next semester...I am taking Pop Music and American Culture, American Film 2, which studies film from the 50s to the 90s, Sitcom Writing, a one unit science class about earthquakes, and the History of Rock and Roll. I'm actually looking forward to an easy semester, though I said that about this semester, so we'll see.

Alrighty, must got get ready for another fun filled night at work. I can hardly wait!! *rolls eyes*

Early Morning Post

I've been meaning to update this thing for days. So much for my wanting to update more often.

I have decided that Target does not pay me enough for the crap I have to do, therefore, this job is not worth stressing over and getting upset over. That has been my attitude the last few days at work and hopefully I can keep it going.

Looks like I will be graduating in the Spring, well Summer...which is nice. I just need to figure out my schedule for next semester..and it sucks, I have to get up at 7am to register. Grr.

I am probably the only 311 fan with the 311 Live DVD just sitting on my desk begging to be watched. I don't want to watch it in pieces; I want to watch the full 4-5 hours at one time, so I need to find time to watch it and god knows when that will be. I actually think it might be a while. That sucks. :\ I've heard it's an amazing DVD though.

I completed my ballot yesterday. I voted for the Green Party. Nader wasn't even on the CA ballot...I should have written him in though. So now if Bush or Kerry win, I'll know I had no part of it. ;) I need to get it in the mail today.

I am also happy that the Red Sox won the World Series. St Louis got their butt kicked.

Alright I gotta go eat breakfast and shower and get ready for my day...wooooooooo.

"Normally no, maybe in Holland I would though."

WORK

WORK WAS CRAP!!! I NEVER HATED MY JOB AS MUCH AS I DO RIGHT NOW. I SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT THINKING OF THINGS THAT I WISH I COULD SAY TO PEOPLE W/O LOSING MY JOB. THURSDAY WAS CRAP, FRIDAY WAS CRAP AND I'M SURE TOMORROW WILL BE CRAP TOO. I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW TO BE OVER BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO WORK MONDAY. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm done.

Well, I decided to write Cosmo Girl! magazine. They have a nice form to fill out on their website to write them. I normally don't find myself upset enough to actually write to someone, but this time I did. Stupid magazine.

I have no plans this weekend...except to do homework. Woooo! I have quite a bit to keep me busy. I need to go grocery shopping today, but that is about it. Oh yeah, livin on the edge.

I got my raise at Target...woohoo, making $7.05/hr.

I bought Garfield: The Movie last night. I wasn't going to, but I figured after the sale it'd go up to like $20, so I figured why not. I am bummed though - there isn't any extra stuff on the DVD...I was at least hoping for a "Making Of" or something. Oh and speaking of movies, on Wed. night in my Adolescents in America class, we watched Donnie Darko. I absolutely loved it! I had been wanting to see it. I cried too. I definitely recommend it if you haven't seen it.

And in the tradition of being myself and freaking out before I need to, I think I will be okay to graduate in May. I still need to meet with my advisors next week, but I read my grad check more carefully and they're not counting the classes I am taking this semester, only the ones through last spring. So I should be good. Hopefully.

Okay, I want everyone to have a funner (is that word?) weekend than me, okay? Go out there and have some fun for me because I know I won't be. :)

Pissed

I bought a copy of the magazine Cosmo Girl to help me with a project for my Adolescents in America class. Here is an article, IN FULL, from the magazine...

HOOKING UP WITHOUT GETTING HURT
Making out can get so…complicated. But having a little bit of discipline will keep those hot-and-heavy sessions on your terms – and totally fun.

Let’s face it: Making out with a new guy is exciting. It makes you feel like you know secrets about him that no one else does – suddenly, you know what his hair feels like between your fingers, how salty his mouth tastes and what his eyes look like way up close. It’s intimate and grow-up. But having a casual “friends with benefits” fling can also be confusing. It makes you question whether you’re the kind of girl who can get physically close to a guy and then put all her feelings for him in a drawer. Hooking up – whether it means making out, oral sex, or intercourse – is supposed to be about getting intimate without getting emotional. But a lot of times you tell yourself it’s just a fun thing – then realize you would be psyched if he called. And when he doesn’t, you feel secretly hurt. The reality of hooking up is that it’s not something your heart takes lightly. So instead of brushing it off as something casual, acknowledge that is a big deal. Everything you get physical with someone, you’re sharing a personal part of yourself. Hooking up not a game, and our heart is no one’s toy to play with. (And P.S.: If you’re having sex you have to protect more than just your emotions. Use a condom and back up birth control, like the pill). So whether you’ve been burned or are only talking about starting the fire, here are the most important hookup lessons to learn.

CHOOSE WISELY
Your PH (potential hookup) has to be worthy of you. It’s your body and your feelings at stake – entrust them only to someone who deserves that kind of access. That means resisting any PH who’s disrespectful or cocking, or who you don’t know that well. Pretend you’re interviewing PHs for the of He Who Deserves You, and you’ll feel loess pressure ti impress him with all your make-out skills, since he’ll be the who needs to prove his wroth to you. You’ll end up choosing decent guys – who won’t leave you questioning yourself. “I had a friend who’d hook up with a guy on a weekend and then freak out when he’d walk by her in school and not say hi,” says Aubrey, 15, from Tampa, FL. “She’d feel used and end up crying over the guy.” So be selective. After all, if a friend is getting your benefits, he has to be a friend first.

TAKE IT SLOWLY
This might seem obvious if you’re already had a few casual hookups, but getting physical with a guy is not the way to his heart. “There is no Santa Claus, professional wrestling is fake, and guys hook up with girls with no intention of being their boyfriend,” says Chanda, 17, of Mexico, Missouri. If you equate hooking up with romance, you’ll end up disappointed and maybe even obsessed with someone you probably wouldn’t care as much about if you hadn’t gotten mostly naked with him. It’s hard to recognize in the moment, but what often happens when you guy busy with a guy who’s not your boyfriend is that you feel guilty afterward ,.like you did something wrong that doesn’t’ match with the good girl you know you are. So to make that icky, regret feeling go away, you start trying to make the guy your boyfriend – that way, you can tell yourself that going so far with him was acceptable. This plan almost never works. But if you take things slowly with a guy, you’ll be less likely to have those regrets. “I like to get to know someone as friends, so that ‘m more comfortable. You want guys to respect you. You don’t want them to think they can take advantage of you,” Says, Jen, 20, From Orlando, FL. “I’d rather feel a tiny bit prudish than very regretful. So if he’s pushing for me, let me know that you two might eventually get to advanced making out, but for now, you’re only comfortable w/the basics. It’s not that should tease him. Just make yourself pause, pull back and do less than you think you want to do.

PROTECT YOURSELF
Guys and girls are wired differently: You may be psyched if a hot guy wants to hook up with you, but there’s a good chance he’s thinking, After I get with her for an hour, I’m going to go play video games with my friends. Guys simply aren’t as emotionally invested in hooking up as girls tend to be. Remember that before you get horizontal, okay? Because that soaringly good feeling hooking up brings is fleeting – but the dangle to your reputation can be much longer-lasting. “I have this one friend who hooks up with a lot of guys, thinking they’ll like her afterward, “says DeAndrea, 16, from Peachtree, Georgia. “She doesn’t understand that guys use her because she lets them.” Sure it’s an annoying double standard that when guys hook up a lot they’re “heroes” but when girls hook up a lot they’re “hos.” But the best way to combat that is to hook up with a guy who sees you as more than just pleasant distraction.
Now, all of this isn’t to you that you have to hide from boys forever. The point is that you can experience all of what’s fuel about hooking up if you hook up on your terms. And the best part of it all? You’ll wake up the next day with no regrets.

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This article DEEPLY disturbs me. It's in magazine targeted to teenage girls and I would go as far as to suggest as low as 10 or 11 years of age. This article not only condones hooking up and says it's okay, but even TELLS you how to do it w/o "getting hurt." The author's whole solution is hook up with a friend and not just a random person. Well, normally with friends, you have some sort of emotional connection with them, (which is why they're your friend) so wouldn't it make it tougher if you hooked up with a friend than a random person? Or where the girl says you want a guy to respect you, which the author puts forth this solution: Take it slow...don't get to hot and heavy during the first hook up session. Promise him he'll get more, when you're more comfortable. Yeah, so he sticks around until you do put out and then he'll drop your ass. If you want respect, don't fucking hook up with the guy the first place. The author says herself that guys arent' emotional about this stuff, but yet...if you do it MY way, you won't be emotional either, so you're even. This article is just unbelieveable. I'd expect something like this from regular Cosmo, but not the teen version. The fact that this is marketed to young girls and younger teenage girls disgusts me. This whole article is saying it's okay to hook up with random people with no strings attached. The article should be titled, "How to Hook Up With 50 People and Have Absolutely No Reponsbility For It." I realize that kids probably do this all the time, but that's not the point. The fact that it's publicized and in this fashion is uncalled for. Plus, did the author ever think that maybe most girls if not all girls hook up because of low self esteem? They think that's the only way to get a guy? She makes it sound like it's not low self esteem, she just picked the wrong guy. This is sad....really sad.

Long Awaited Post

I was going to update last night, but my roommate was already sleep, so it had to wait until today.

I finally got my grad check - they sent it to my house. I didn't know they'd mail it, I figured they'd have me pick it up. My mom read part of it to me and it seems that I have 5 or 6 classes to take before I can graduate. So, if that is right, there is a HUGE chance that I will carry over into another semester and I won't graduate in May, I'll graduate in Dec/Jan. I'm very upset about this. I'm angry and sad. It kind of screws up my plans. I need to go talk to my advisor first, so I'll try not to worry about it too much until I know for sure, but that is how it is looking.

I spoiled myself this weekend...I bought some new clothes and got my nails done.

A local station was playing the best of The Beatles from A-Z all weekend; that was good listening. Speaking of The Beatles, a guy at work posed this question: If I had to choose seeing 311 or seeing Paul McCartney, playing his songs PLUS Beatles songs, which would I choose? My first response to him was saying he was evil for making me choose. I then proceeded to tell him that I would choose Paul. That would be quite an opportunity, methinks. Really, though, it's an evil question.

Work was a bitch last night. It's all rainy here and you'd think people would stay home, but NO, they ALL went to Target. I felt like I couldn't breathe...everywhere I looked, there were people. Guess I should get used to it, probably gonna be a lot worse real soon. It was funny though, the closing manager told us during our huddle that we should have patience because guests were being weird. And I told the operator that and she said, "yeah, it's like there's a full moon out." I didn't experience too much weirdness though.

My roommate is so sweet. I came home from work Thursday night and there was the huge Garfield movie poster on my bed with post-it note. It said, "I saw this and thought you had to have it." So, it's now up on my wall. She's so awesome. I want to buy the movie....it comes out tomorrow, but I shouldn't spend any more money. I thought it came to video pretty quick. I just saw the movie in July.

I passed by this animal hospital/boarding house/grooming place yesterday. It had a huge sign that said "now hiring." I'm SO tempted to go see exactly what position(s) they are hiring for. I don't know if I will though.

Okay, I think I got everything.

Oh, welcome back DZ.

Music: 311 - Beautiful Disaster

Well, for right now the internet is back up. Hopefully it stays this way.

I had fun tonight - went to Dave & Busters for dinner and then played some games, (Thanks to Merc and Ong). I suck at games, but I still have fun playing them.

I was able to watch the last debate, which I am happy about. I dunno if I could pick a clear winner or not. Both of them said things that annoyed me. I am still undecided though. I'm not voting for Bush, but I am undecided if I am voting for Kerry. I honestly don't think it matters who I vote for so much because California is going to be a Democratic state anyways. I really want to vote on the propositions though. The most important to me is the Stem Cell Research. I really hope that one passes.

For my big research paper, I decided to write about teenagers and their connection to music. I think it'll be a good topic and hopefully i can write 12-15 pages about it. I also need to get started on the next 20 pages of my script. And I have reading to do. It's never ending.

My friend told me that the registration date for next semester is coming up in a few weeks and I don't have my grad check back. GRRR!! I just have this feeling I'm going to get screwed over. I'm gonna wind up being here an extra semester or something. I'm hoping she's wrong about the date.

Wow, not much excitement in this post huh? That is my life at the moment...

Grr @ This Place

You know, this whole internet not working thing is getting very annoying. I don't know what it is...it seems 1-2 times ever 2 weeks, the internet goes down. And I think it's just our building or maybe it's just our room. Right now I'm in the computer lab in the dorms, so it can't be a housing thing. Ugh, it's madness.

So, I am stressing a little bit. I have a research topic due next week and I have NO idea what to write about. It's for my Adolescence in America class, so we have to pick a topic on teenagers, but what??? I considered doing music, or body image, or..suicide, but I don't know. The hugely annoying part of this is that I have to have 2 primary sources...which means I have to have evidence directly from teenagers from the time period I am researching. That makes it just a little tougher. And I have to pick something I can do good research on because it's a 12-15 page research paper. I still can't believe I have to take this class. This class is structured for beginning graduate students and American Studies Majors...and I am irritated at the fact that I am a minor, yet am required to take this course. Blah. Though I am scared to death about life after school, I can't wait to get the hell out of here.

All I'm dong this weekend is homework and working. Tomorrow I'm going over to a friend's place to watch the NASCAR race, which will be the only break for me. And truth be told I shouldn't spend 3 or 4 hours do that when I have so much work to do. But I mean, I don't know what to do. Mentally, I need a break...but at the same time, I can't get too far behind.

So, the last few nights I've been learning some interesting "dirt" on people at work. Well, it's not really dirt I guess, it's things that are widely known, I was just clued in. Found out that 3 people I work with are lesbian. Didn't see that coming...not that I care at all, it's just trippy that's all. And last night I found that one supervisor there was dating another supervisor's mom. I swear I learn something new every night I work. Oooh...and last night my friend Beth and I helped a guy pick out a bra. It was hilarious. This was a flamboyantly gay guy and asked us to come over and help him. He wanted to know what size of bra would fit around his body. So we helped him and he put one on, right in the middle of the lingerie section, and said something like, "OMG, this bra is so uncomfortable," he looks at Beth and I and continues, "I'm so sorry you have to wear these." It was so funny...I never thought I would try to help a guy find a bra. Other coworkers were helping him with skirts too. He said he was shopping for Halloween. Crazy stuff at Target, I tell ya.

I just got done taking a midterm. I think I did alright, probably a "B" or a low "B". After my test, I also went by the Admissions & Records Office to find out about my Grad. check because I paid for it 8 months ago and I still haven't heard anything and I need to know so I know what I have left to take, since I'm supposed to graduate in a semester. And, as with every school office, they were no help. He basically told me not to worry about it and that I would have it. So I will just bank on what he said and hope I don't get screwed.

It is nice to be home and not have my 2nd class today. Maybe I can get started on some work, maybe take a nap. I don't have work until 5.

I saw a guy w/a 311 shirt on today...that made me happy.

And you know, I am also sick of this warm weather. There was one day when it was all cloudy and breezy and just beautiful and today it is hot. Bring on the cold!

Short Musings

So I figured I would update this thing before I got into my comfy clothes and started reading.

I am very exhausted. It was a rough weekend for me...I think the most sleep I have gotten in one night since Friday is 6. And that's probably not gonna change until this weekend. *sigh*

I got my new cell phone...I love it. I paid more than I wanted to at the time though. Apparently the phone wasn't $50 anymore, but it was $80 with a $30 mail in rebate, so in about a month I'll my $30 back. I have actually never understood the point of rebates. If you're gonna get the money back eventually, why not just save the trouble and paperwork and just take the money off the price at the start? Does anyone know about rebates? I'm really curious as to why they exist. Plus having this phone is like having a digital camera, which is nice. Won't hold as many pics as a digital camera, but still. It's got a plug for a USB cord too. And I splurged $2.00 to buy a 311 polyphonic ring tone. I couldn't choose which one to get, so I got Down. I found a site with Beautiful Disaster, but it wasn't secure, so I didn't want to put in my credit card info, which kinda bummed me out because Beautiful Disaster is my song.

I am drinking this new Mountain Dew...Black Grape something or other - it's yummy.

It turns out that I will not be going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am very sad about this. I do plan on asking for the week or so after Christmas off, so I can go home and have a late Christmas. I talked to the lady who does the schedule and she said it shouldn't be a problem getting time off after Christmas. But no dice for Thanksgiving...which makes since. So, I have no clue what I am doing for Thanksgiving. I'm so bummed about that. :-/

I hung out w/my friend Jillian a little bit ago...she's so sweet...she went to two races at the California Speedway this weekend and she bought me a pin of my favorite NASCAR driver. That made my night.

Okay, I must go...and I am going to *try* and update this more often...I'm so bad..

Will it ever end?

So, this weekend is going to be a pain. Here's what I have coming up...

Monday: 6-8 page paper due (A take home midterm)
Tuesday: Next 20 pages of my script due
Wednesday: A 200 page book needs to be read (haven't started it)
Thursday: Midterm for which I have done none of the reading for

I would elaborate, but I'm sure you get the idea.

Yesterday in one of my classes we watched the movie Real Women Have Curves. I thought it was a great movie. I didn't realize it was about what it's about, but it was good none the less. I recommend it if you haven't seen it....I guess mostly for girls...guys probably wouldn't like the movie.

I have been feeling pretty blah lately. I am just feeling really bogged down in all of the crap I have to do. Normally I would be freaking out about everything I have going on next week, but I'm surprisingly calm. There will just be some late nights and lack of sleep. And probably some half-ass work done. Oh well, I better go and read. :-\