Post Thanksgiving Madness

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. Mine was cool...it wasn't home, but I enjoyed it and was glad that I had a place to go.

Work last night really wasn't as crazy as I thought it would be. But perhaps it was because it was at night. I'm sure it was worse during the day time. I decided to go into work with a positive attitude and take whatever they threw at me because there would be no point in being upset or anything. So, on the worst/busiest shopping day of the year, they decide to put me in the toy department. They never cease to amaze me. From 5pm - 7pm, there were two of us and from 7pm to closing there were 4 of us. I just found it odd that on this day they would put me in a department that I had never been in before. I had people asking me where things were and I was completely lost. I kept having to ask one of the guys who is always in toys where things were. I felt bad, but it wasn't necessarily my fault. Hopefully tonight I will be back in one of the clothing departments. Toys wasn't *that* bad, but I'd rather look at it as "Been there, done that, now let's move on." Guess I'll see. I also might join some people from work at Denny's for a post-work meal.

Last 3 weeks of school coming up. 2 weeks of regular classes and 1 week of finals. I have 3 huge things to do...write my 6-8 page take home final, write my 12-15 page research paper, and I have to revise my script, which is 90 pages. The papers are due the week of finals and the script is due the week before. Luckily, I only have 1 actual test, so hopefully these next few weeks won't be filled w/too much craziness.

Today, I should do work, but all I really want to do is lay in bed until I have to get ready for work. It is tempting...just pop a movie on, or watch a couple of discs of Friends episodes and just relax. I feel pretty worn out from last night. My body hurts and I kinda feel a hint of sickness coming on, which wouldn't surprise me because I think I can count the number of people at work who have been sick the last few weeks on 2 hands. So, I am sort of just waiting for it.

Alright, I think I'll go get some work done and then relax. It'll be my reward. *nods*

Music: Eminem - Mosh

"New pair of shoes for the Chan-Chan man."

I am enjoying this week of no school. I almost forgot that I have to work tonight.
Not doing much...just some laundry right now, then I plan on reading. There's only 3 weeks of school left, including finals, so I really need to get on the ball while I have time. Kinda sucks...I don't really get a break.

I bought this book, called Bad Cats and it has pictures of cats in the weirdest positions and looks on their faces and captions to go with it. It is hiliarious. I found in a book store a few weeks ago and then I came home and ordered it on amazon.com. Man, Amazon has become my best friend lately. They've been getting a lot of business from me.

I went grocery shopping last night and thought I would miss the Thanksgiving madness, but I didn't. The store was pretty busy for a Monday afternoon. And last night I actually cooked. I made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn. It was really good. I was so proud of my masterpiece, that I took a picture. Too bad I can't post it.

I need a new pair of shoes. Mine are getting pretty junky looking. The leather or whatever it is on top is starting to crack and peel. I will probably keep wearing these to work, but I want to get a new pair. Maybe next paycheck..ooh, which is this Friday. Right on. I'll just have to see. I looked at some shoes and they're all about $50 (Vans). I found some that I like though.

Alright, gotta go get my laundry now. Fun times!

Music: Chronic Future - Shellshocked

So, so bad at this updating thing lately.

It's almost 2:30pm and I am still in my pjs...I figure, why get dressed and then get dressed again when I have to go to work..right? Right. I really don't want to work tonight. I know it probably doesn't sound like it, but I do like my job. I just hate the politics of it, which I know I will encounter in ANY job I am sure, but this is my first time really experiencing it.

Everyone at the dorms is starting to go home for Thanksgiving. That makes me so sad. :( I want to go home more than anything right now. I am thankful that I do have a place to go, though. I don't know, right now I just feel like I'm in this funk of "I have nothing to look forward to." I know I am the only one who can change that - make life, work, and school worth enough to look forward to, but it's hard. Look forward to writing papers? Dealing with rude people/bosses/supervisors? Not feeling/being appreciated? How do turn those things in to positives?

All I want is some direction...some reassurance...A nice pat on the back letting me know I'm doing the right thing; that I'm doing okay. Most of the time I feel like I'm doing the right thing, but is that enough? Do I have enough life experience to trust my instincts? I figure the only way I'm going to know when and when not to trust myself is to go out and gain experience, but that is a risk itself. Sometimes I feel like I just need to jump right in and see what happens. I hinder myself by not doing that. Rather stay "comfortable" than take a risk. And times when I feel like I am doing what I want, I am trusting my instincts, I am following my mind and feelings, someone in the background is telling me I shouldn't do that. I just don't know what to do anymore...I am utterly and completely lost. And it feels weird to be my age and feeling this way. I feel like I'm the ugly duckling, the odd one that doesn't fit in. Ugh.

Music: Incubus - Are You In?

Update

Well, I figured I would update...not sure if anyone really reads this anymore...most of the people who I think do read it haven't updated their blogs in a while, so I don't know if they even read others, but yeah.

Anyways, not in a great mood...haven't been the last few days really. It's weird, it's like no matter what surroundings I am in, I feel like no one understands me. It could be at work, could be at school, could be discussions about absolutely nothing, but I feel like my brain has just been fumbling around and I can't find the right words to say and I try to explain myself it and it doesn't come out like I want and I am not understood. It's annoying and it's getting to the point of bringing me down. It's almost like I don't even want to try.

Moving on..

Last night at work they paired me up with a lady who is brand new and wanted me to train her. I guess that is a good thing, but I wasn't that comfortable because I don't know how good of a teacher I am. So, one girl helped me...she trained for a little bit and then I trained her for some of it. She was really nice and did a good job. There's going to be a lot of new faces at work. And speaking of work, I put in a request for time off so I could go home. I put in from Dec. 29th - Jan. 3rd and you know what??? I got my request back saying that those may be blackout dates and I might not get it off. WHY could those be blackout dates?? I even talked to the lady who does the schedule myself and she said time after Christmas shouldn't be a problem. I am going to be pissed if I have to go home later. Though I guess since I'm already missing Thanksgiving and Christmas, I can celebrate in January, cause you know, it'll be the same. And I know, it's life, no need to remind me, but it still sucks.

I think I found some new hubcaps for my car. They're $55, shipping included. Target actually has some for $18, but they look really flimsy. I dunno what I'm going to do. Maybe I should just have naked tires, though it looks like crap.

School is school. Everyone of my classes is irritating me in some way, but I suppose that is normal. I had a presentation in the class my big research paper is for and it went really well and now I am done for the rest of the classes, I just need to work on my paper. I am happy about that. Then for my screenwriting class, all that is due is my revised screenplay, so hopefully that will go smoothly. Oh and I have a 5 page research paper that's due Thursday and I haven't started it. I will probably be starting it tonight and finishing it on Wednesday.

Tomorrow is going to be a long...work and school. I hope it's a much better day than what I've been having.

Just a Little Pissed

All in all, last night wasn't a bad night at work. I leave at midnight and as soon as I walked out the door, I could see my car...and you know what??? Someone fucking stole my hubcaps. I am SO PISSED. I was pretty mad last night and I still am when I think about it. I mean, WTF? They weren't worth anything...they were cheap, plastic pop on/off hubcaps, why would someone steal them? I went back in last night and told the manager and he told me to call Target's security guy today and I did. He's gonna look at the tape and see if he can find anything and call me back. Ugh. It makes me mad, but scared too. My car should be safe at the place I work and if someone is going to steal hubcaps what will someone else try to do?? Thinking about calling and seeing how much it would cost to add comprehensive insurance on my car. Right now I only have towing and uninsured motorist. Then there's that whole violated feeling. Yeah, the hubcaps may have been cheap and not worth much, but knowing that someone freaking TOUCHED my car just irritates me. I will probably wind up buying more, because my car just looks weird w/o the hubcaps. I also need to buy valve stem cover caps for the tires because a few of them are missing. *sigh* this just sucks. People suck. Period.

Music: Cake - No Phone

Green Day

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everythings all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh-Ah
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah I walk alone, I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone!

I am not sure why, but when I listened to the lyrics to this song, I really felt like I could relate....

November Already?

Can someone tell me where the first 10 months of this year went?

On Saturday night I talked to one of my managers; the one I felt most comfortable talking to. I told him that I didn't appreciate what the other guy did and everything and he told me that he would talk to him. He also said that the guy shouldn't have talked to me in front to customers and that I was right in telling someone. After I told him I felt much better.

Work was kind of boring last night..though there were more people in there than I thought there would be. A customer insulted me too. *shrug* But what are ya gonna do? Though I will miss the extra money on my check, I am glad my hours got cut this week. I will be off Tuesday night. I am also happy about that because I'll get to watch the election stuff.

Ugh, we have suite inspections today, which means I gotta clean. I have so much to do...I can't wait until Thanksgiving break is here. I need a break from this madness!!

You know, all I do is complain...I hate that. I mean I guess this is a forum to do so, but I'm tired of it. I need to become a more positive, don't let things get to me person. I must strive to be that way because I sometimes get sick of hearing myself complain, and some of you probably do too. So, I shall end on that note. :)