From Home to Home

I am back in the OC. I had a nice, but too brief, 5 days at home in Central CA. For the first time, I drove, which I was more nervous about my car than me. It was a pretty easy drive, especially going to Central CA. I did good, found the right exits and on-ramps, made good time and my car got good gas mileage. It was nice to see my friends and parents. Just wish I could go up more often.

I *think* I have committed to buying a new computer. My dad thinks I should and Merc thinks I've found a good deal. I really just want my own, want to get online when I want to and I mean, just having my own computer to do things on and everything. Guess I'll see what happens. I will miss my eMachine though.

My Cheetos are missing. I am pretty sure that I left a half a bag of Cheetos when I left and now I can't find them. My guess is my roommate's b/f, who I am sure stayed here the whole time I was gone, ate them. Which, I am more annoyed that no one asked than the eating. I mean, if they would have asked, I would have said go for it...but oh well. I know I didn't eat the whole bag of Cheetos.

Back to work tonight...blah. But then I have Thursday and Friday off, which is cool. I work Saturday and then I have the NASCAR Race on Sunday...yay! Work shouldn't be too bad because I am operator the two nights I do work, so at least I don't have to be on the salesfloor. My roommate and I have vowed to be out of retail before Christmas Season...at least before December, but ideally before November. She'll do fine cause retail is her second job, but it's my only job, so wish me luck. The job searching will begin soon....

Old Letters

One of the projects I want to accomplish while I am home is to go through some of my stuff and try to throw things out. While doing this, I found a couple of containers that I put in letters that my best friend and I wrote to each other almost EVERYDAY in high school...I think the batch I am looking at now are from our Sophomore year.

We would do interesting things in our letters. We'd make up songs about our crushes and we'd constantly try to out do one another in our letters and try to make each other blush with comments about our crushes. We would create two lists of guys and we'd have to choose between the lists. We had nicknames...I was Superwoman, my crush was Superman. She was Shera...her main crush was Heman and her other crush was Conan (as in the Barbarian, not O'Brien).

It is definitely a trip reading all of these letters. It's been close to 10 years since these letters were written and, naturally, so much has changed. It's a weird feeling, I mean, back then there wasn't a care in the world and now it's real life. The closest things we had to relationships were passing our crush on campus. The closest thing we had to responsibility was making sure our homework was done. No driving. No job. No bills. We had all the time in the world. I love where I'm at now, but sometimes I can't help but want the carefree simpleness of back then. But of course, to us back then, nothing was simple, everything was complicated. I wonder if I will look back 10 years from now and say how simple things were when I was almost 24.

I guess it is interesting to sit back and really think about what you've done in a certain given time. I marvel at how I am so quick to judge some of the teenagers I work with, even though I realize I'm sure I acted the same way they did when I was their age....which really wasn't long ago. I know most of this probably makes no sense...but it is amazing to look back and see a progression of yourself. I think I've done okay so far, I just hope the future holds the same thing.

The Return of Manda

Well, hello everyone. You missed me, right? Probably not, but humor me a little.. :)

My roommate went to Chicago for about a week, taking her computer with her, so I haven't been able to get online. She is so sweet...knowing my love for mint and chocolate, she brought me back some mints, they're called Frango from Marshall Fields. I can't wait to dive into them.

Tomorrow I am driving home for a few days...I'll be coming back next Tuesday. I am really looking forward to being home. I haven't been there since January. Part of me doesn't want to go though, because I know I will have to leave. I hate that feeling. It is funny how I still call it home. Even though I have my own home now, but I don't know...Tulare and my parents will always be home to me.

I hope my drive home goes well. I am not worried about me being able to do it, but being a paranoid person by nature, I am worried about my car. I have taken good care of it, oil changes, air in the tires, etc, so hopefully it goes well. I keep thinking of my old roommates 94 Ford Tracer with an oil leak can make it over the mountain and into the valley, why can't my 99 Cavalier, right? ;)

I am still in love w/the 311 album. I have been listening to it non-stop, well except for right now cause the cd is in my car, but yeah. It's different, but then again, that's 311. Each one of their albums sounds different, which is the cool thing about them. I found out they will be playing KROQ's Inland Invasion, along with Weezer, Live, Cake and others that I would like to see, on my birthday...and guess who isn't going? I first heard about it the day before the tickets went on sale, so I wasn't able to buy tickets, but I am broke anyway. That'd be an awesome birthday present. Oh well. Hopefully there's another LA area show, where they will play longer than 40min, and have cheaper tickets. So far my next concert will be Sir Paul. I am very excited, but at the same time, it's gonna suck having to share it with...but that's okay, I'm seeing Paul McCartney, can't cry over that, huh?

Nothing else has gone on this past week...same ol, same ol. Staying home and watching TV in an attempt to not spend money. It's sorta working.

Next time I post it will probably be at home...I hope all is well. :)

Merc and Ong, Happy Anniversary! And Merc, congrats on the new laptop. I am internally jealous. :)

311 - Don't Tread On Me

Amazing album....just wonderful....SA is awesome...the music is great. I am in love.

I wanted to update sooner, but I've really been feeling like crap. My sinuses have been very mean to me. I thought it was a cold, but I don't think it was. I am beginning to feel better, but I still sound all nasal.

Last Friday was my last day at my internship. It was sort of bittersweet...I mean I liked the people I worked with and I liked what I did, but it is going to be nice to have 2 days off without any requirements. I will probably begin work on my resume and I believe I can still go have it reviewed at my school's career center, so I will do that and begin, what I fear will be a long search, for a job.

One of my bosses at work yesterday came up to me and asked, "are you still considering leaving?" And I said, "yeah." And he said, "that's a shame." I think a few of my supervisors and some of my bosses would like to see me stay and try to promote myself to higher positions. I have to admit that it is tempting. It would mean an automatic $1.00 raise...which I could use...but it still might not be as much as I'd get elsewhere. The scared side of me wants to go this way, because it's comfortable, but then, in a way, it seems wrong. It seems that I should be doing more...after all, I am officially college educated and I didn't spend 6 years in school and $20 grand to work at Target. Plus, I really don't like retail...It is the people that I work worth that keep me going to work everyday. I guess do I feel flattered that they want me to stay and think I would do good in a supervising role, because they have more confidence in me to do that than I do, but I don't know. Maybe a supervising role would give me some experience...help me to quit being such a pansy about things, but *shrug* Any advice from anyone?

I got my 311 pictures back...they were pretty crappy. :( I did get some cool shots though, like the drum solo in Applied Science and Nick and Tim's duet during Beautiful Disaster. Yep yep.

You know, I am curious, how long will it take me to get rid of all this confusion I have floating around? 30? 35? 60? Never? I am just waiting for a time in my life where I can be completely confident, carefree, and cool. Think it'll ever happen?

An Evening w/311, Aug. 1, 2005

Last night, I saw 311 at The Grove of Anaheim. I honestly have mixed feelings about the concert. The feelings have nothing to do w/the band, or the music, but just the goings on of the concert.

First things first though. 311 sounded awesome. They played quite a few new songs. There seemed to be a lot of reggae influence and I'm thinking this album is going to be more mellow like. Sort of like Evolver. From the new album they played, Don't Tread of Me, Waiting (my personal fav.), solar Flare, Whiskey and Wine and I think they played a few more, but I didn't catch the names of them. I loved all the songs and I am damn excited about the new album...I think it's gonna kick some ass. They also played tried and true favorites, so no real surprises on that end. Though, they only played Creatures from Evolver which surprised me. I thought they'd play more. I think Grassroots was the most played album. I also got the voucher w/the free live cd, so that's cool. They have some cool t-shirts too, some of which I hope I can get on the website, cause, well it's cheaper.

My friend and I got there kinda early and once we got inside, we were like 4 rows from the stage, I was so excited and happy. It was the closest I've ever been to them. I mean, Nick would be RIGHT THERE. For some reason, I wasn't thinking about any pits starting up. I guess with the way the venue is set up, I didn't think there's be a lot of room for a pit...well, I was wrong. The venue is basically set up in tiers. Starting from the first level, there's two stairs, then another level and so on. On either side of the stairs are walls that separate the tiers, so I was thinking w/the walls, there wouldn't be room for a pit. The first half was awesome, then they played Lucky. That's when the pits started. My friend and I were pushed from the 4th row, towards the left, to the very back of the tier, by the stairs, in the center. It was still a good spot, but not as close as before. We then spent the rest of the night pushing guys from us and back into the pit so we didn't get hit. Unfortunately, I got hit a few times. I got an elbow in chest and some guy smashed into my lower abdomen and knocked the air out of me. This morning my arms still feel like noodles from pushing these probably 150+ pound guys away from me. And since I was concentrating on trying not to get hit or knocked down, I missed some awesome songs. They even started a pit to beautiful Disaster and I was sad cause I missed parts of that song. So, to be honest, the last half of the show wasn't as fun as it could have been. And I do take full responsibility for being down there in the first place...It's my fault, cause I know that's where the pits happen, but at the same time I just wanted to see a good show and there were plenty of people not moshing. So, here's what I think I've decided....I've been close to the stage, it is awesome seeing the band so up close (can't wait to get my pictures back), but I don't think I'll do it again. I will gladly be further back, where I can stand, dance, and just get in to the music, rather than having to push people away from me.

Let's see, what else...They all looked great. I was hoping Nick or SA would take their shirts off at the end, but no such luck. SA threw out Chad's drumhead and I was about 2 feet from catching it. All and all it was an awesome night. I love them and they were worth having to deal w/the pits. Man!!! I love this band....I dunno what I'd do w/o them.