The New Me

Well, a new blog anyway. :) It is pink and cute...it is very me, though part of me doesn't want to admit that pink fits me. Also, new comments feature, so feel free to share your two cents on my ramblings. ;)

I love it...Thanks, Merc. :)

Music: The Raconteurs - Steady, As She Goes

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

I started this 196 page book just after 7pm and I finished it at 11:30pm. The last book I can remember reading cover to cover in one sitting was one of those R.L. Stine novels.

I had no idea what course the book would take and while it mentions heaven and God, it's more about life. It's about why things happen, how they happen and how all events and people are connected to eachother whether we know it or not. It was very moving and touching for me.

I strongly recommend this book to everyone...it's a quick read and I honestly think everyone can take something from it.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven

An Urge

For the last week or so, I've been doing a lot of thinking...and I feel like I need to make some changes in my life. Though, I haven't quite pin-pointed what they should be. There are a lot of aspects of my life that I am not happy with and there are things I need to work on. I could sit down and have a conversation with you about what I'd like to change, what I want to become, what my goals ultimately are, but I constantly hold myself back. As I discussed with some great friends last night, I haven't really been looking for a job because I feel like I need a direction in which to look. I have no clue what I want...but they pointed out to me that how do I know what I want if I don't try different jobs? I got to thinking about it, and it's like I expect a light bulb to go off letting me know that "this" was the career for me.

On one hand, the film thing still sounds cool, but now I don't know if I would like to do it as a career...maybe a more side thing, which, in this case, writing really intrigues me. Remember a few posts back I wrote how I'd like to start a new script, but have I done it?

I think it all sums up to fear. Fear of failure, rejection, the fear of still not knowing what to do with myself. At least right now, I have a wide range of things I could do...but what if I try a handful of things and still don't know what I want to do? That really scares me. So, though it makes absolutely no sense, I don't do anything. I stay at the job that pisses me off daily and that I rarely come to actually looking forward to being there. I want something that I get something out of, not a job that I just give, give and give and get nothing in return.

I really am my own worst enemy.

Well, Lookie Here!

Yes, it is true...after a full year of sleeping on 4 different air mattresses, I finally have a real bed! I received a great deal and great service. One of the workers volunteered to follow me home and deliver it right away. Just awesome. Here's to a good night's sleep! (Which, I need because I have to be at work at 5am tomorrow).






Btw, pictured is my Garfield cuddle pillow and my best stuffed buddy, Wrinkles.

Hodge Podge

I haven't been up to that much lately. I mainly work...then come home and bitch about work...then again, I bitch about work while at work, so I'm not sure if that counts. My boss is a moron. I feel bad for saying that because I can tell that he is trying to learn, but after a few months, you should pretty much be in the swing of things and he's not. I could strangle him, I really could. And I used to love the name Nick...now every time I hear it, I cringe. It sucks when you have a boss that has the name you love...it just ruins it. It's okay, though. I just try to go to work, do my job and avoid him at all costs...great relationship, huh?

Last week I put in time off to go home and visit my parents. I am very excited about it, if all goes right, I'll be there from the 10th-17th of July. I'm really looking forward to seeing my parents and my friends. I'm a little nervous about seeing my grandma though because I guess she isn't doing so well and I think it'll be hard for me. I don't mean to sound selfish, though I'm sure I do. It's just so weird, she was fine like a month ago. What is odd is that she is pretty much healthy. She was having trouble eating and losing weight. Though she is better now, she has to be fed, but she hasn't lost any more weight. It honestly just seems her mind is starting to let go, which is hard to see. Not that I want anything to be wrong with my grandma, it would just be much easier to know that something was wrong, instead of just seeing her mind drift away. My dad told me he hoped she'd make it til I came home. I hope she does.

In less depressing news, I went to see X-Men and Over The Hedge. Both were very good. The next three on the list are Cars, Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties, and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. I am excited. Today, I also bought the first season of Lost cause it was on sale. I now have started 3 collections of TV shows. I am finding it can be quite addicting. I only have 5 more seasons to go for Friends, 5 more of Homicide, and well, the rest of Lost when it becomes available.

My Nascar buddy Jillian, who moved to North Carolina, was able to get an autograph of my favorite driver for me. I got it today...it's just on a piece of lined paper, but it is awesome. I even bought a frame for it. I just wish he could race again.

Well, that's pretty much all that's going on in my world. Hope everyone else is well.

Bring on the summer...

Music: Jack Johnson - Fortunate Fool