Getting Older

I've been thinking a lot about getting older lately. If you would have asked me 10 years ago if I thought I'd be where I am now, I am sure I would have a much different answer...and I'm sure almost everyone can agree. Rarely do things work out like we want and/or expect them to.

Aging is an odd thing, though. Sometimes I feel like I did years ago, but other times, I think about certain situations I have been in or conversations I have had and I can see how much I have changed. Merc & Ong have told me that I have changed and grown a lot in the years I have known them and that means a lot because sometimes I can't see it myself. 10 years ago, I definitely thought I'd have a career...maybe be married or seriously involved by now and I have none of that. It's interesting because I think I felt more sure of things back then, than I do now. I guess that can be chalked up to gaining life experience. Working with younger people has also contributed to my feeling older. Sometimes they will invite out to some sort of function or get together after work and I'm thinking, I'd much rather go home and sleep.

Physically aging really sucks. I've started to notice lines under my eyes and it's really bothering me. I was sure hoping I would take the process of aging better, but I'm really not. Now, I know the physically aging is inevitable and it doesn't keep me up at night, but it does make me a little sad. In fact, tonight I priced some 'serum' to put around and under your eyes...almost $20! I couldn't believe that. Guess my lines will keep growing. I am also more tired than I used to be. I never used to have a problem staying up until 1, 2 or 3am...but now? I'm lucky if I'm not yawning my head off by 9pm. There were a few nights, kinda recently, where I stayed up and talked to dz until at least 2 or 3 I think and that about killed me. The conversation was great, but I felt horrible the next few days.

I am also freaking out about turning 27...It's even hard for me to say it. I think I am gonna have to do something fun and exciting this birthday. I'm seriously thinking about getting a tattoo, but I will have to think about that more when the time gets closer. I just keep thinking...this year 27 and before I know it, 30. I might have to get really drunk that night. Yep.

Music: My Chemical Romance - Helena