A Thank You

Through some teary eyes, I really wanted to thank some people who have been putting up with me and my discontent lately. In all honesty, I have not been happy in a long time. Sure, I hang out with friends, have some good conversation, do fun things, but in the core of my being, I am miserable and I can feel it coming out in my day to day life. This, of course, does not make me feel good. And I have had to recently apologize to people for my reactions, responses, or mood towards them more times than ever.

It's pretty hypocritical actually; one of my pet peeves is when people take shit out on me or are rude to me when I have done nothing, but yet it seems to be the same thing I am doing to people in my life and for that I truly apologize. None of you deserve it.

I need to learn and train myself to handle situations better. It is small steps, but I think they are working. So far, I have been able to stop myself from getting totally pissed off over something that isn't important, which mainly occurs at work...whenever I feel myself getting upset, I tell myself there is no point in doing so and I ultimately feel better.

Small example aside, I really need to readjust myself...I have a feeling that it will take a while because it's pretty hard to do. According do some people, I have grown as a person. Sometimes I can't see it.

So, while I am figuring things out internally, a very sincere and loving thank you to my parents, Merc, Ong, Rena and dz. Every one of you have put up with me and/or have touched me down to my core recently and I can't think you enough. You all mean more to me than I can ever express.

Thank you.